curiouser

introduction to words,
we met them and what and and and quickly got tired of each other
she he it and they,when,how,yes,no, made their rounds each time,my tongue got thicker with each syllable,until i let my teeth sit and pulled my hair until i was alone again
only an hour
it only took one hour for me to speak,and only an hour for me to decide not to speak,for a good long time

last night i dreamt i kept going under a boardwalk and a man gave me a treasure each time,so tomorrow,i will let the air into my ears and find my boardwalk and find my treasures and if the man isnt there i will make my own and my own treasures and in this way it could make my hands work again and if i cant feel anything now at least i will feel my hands raw and cold in the water

i can't paint real stuff and IT PISSES ME OFF
i just destroyed all of my paintbrushes and attempted to break a canvas in half (in didnt work)

(ooh the hole river of bile)




bluebird tattoodly done in the waking hours,so he is with me forever,
intense menstrual pain was unbearable last night,mom gave me a motherload of drugs and i kept shrinking down to a foot tall,dreamt i bought a swan and died,
hibernation is creeping up on me and theres nothing like waking up with cold sockets and cranberry lips